We are the Marquez family and we live in Germany due to the military assigning us. While stationed here we decided to pursue adoption. We both have different backgrounds pertaining to adoption and will share our stories individually.
Hi, my name is Hilary Marquez. My interest in adoption began three days after my birth, on March 6, 1981. That’s the day my mom and daddy took me home from the hospital. A few months later and a lot of indecision on my birth mom’s side, the adoption was finalized. I was officially theirs. My parents started to explain adoption to me at an early age. There was never a time I didn’t know I was adopted. I was special, wanted, safe and loved. It was like a badge of honor I happily wore. I took joy in telling people I was adopted, like I was something amazing, better than a princess. For a four-year-old little girl, that was saying something. As an adult, I look back on my life and realize how truly blessed I am. I remember my grandpa telling me how much he loved me and how God gave him such a special girl by letting him be my grandpa. Because of my upbringing and the positive impact of quite literally the entire family, I have always wanted to adopt. I was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia in elementary school. Back then, special education (SPED) kids and severe profound special needs were not separated, or at least they weren’t in my school. Because of this, I got to know some amazing people. They were my friends and shaped the way I feel about special needs. I knew two boys growing up that were adopted. One didn’t find out until he was in high school. He was devastated. The other was in my lab class. His parents adopted him knowing he has special needs. All three of our stories look very different. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I realized adoption, while being a wonderful thing, can be heartbreakingly sad. The reason I mention these two boys is because I learned two important lessons: honesty and compassion. I knew from seeing my friend’s sadness and loss that my parents did me a huge favor by being honest out of love. Hearing other kids say things like, “I wouldn’t have adopted a kid like that” while making rude sounds and hand gestures, broke my heart. In my soul I was screaming, “I would adopt a kid like that.” I wish I had the courage to say it out loud. He was and still is my friend. At age 16, I got pregnant, and I had to consider adoption from yet another angle. I had a wonderful life because of adoption. Do I do the same? I kept her. I couldn’t do it. Imagining having to give her up made me sick. I would love to meet my birth mom and give her a huge hug and tell her she was so brave. For these and other reasons adoption has been a path I’ve wanted to pursue.
Our story begins in 2001. Abraham and I met in the Army when we were young adults; he had just turned 18 and I was 21. We instantly connected and in August 2004, we were married. We had 2 children, one biological son and later one adopted daughter. A few years after I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Due to the type of cancer I had to have a hysterectomy. We knew growing our family would only happen through adoption. The years went by, and it never felt like the right time due to military deployments and moves. I began to feel like maybe this isn’t God’s plan for our lives, until His perfect timing. He has opened the door to adoption, and we are happily walking through it.
Hi, I’m Abraham Marquez. I have always had a place in my heart for kids. My stepmother (I call mom today) filled the role for me (and two siblings) at the early age of two. Since then, she has given me everything I have needed to become successful – love, care, nurture, guidance, etc. She never referred to herself as my “stepmom”, just mom and always treated us kids equally. Not only did my stepmom fill the role, but her parents did as well. My grandfather loved me like his own. He was my mentor and knew how to share love. He also adopted one of his children at birth. My grandfather showed me what love can do and fully supported everything I did from school to extra-curricular activities.
He came to my football games, tennis matches, and cross-country meets and took me on a thirty-day trip around the states with my younger brother and cousin. He enjoyed his family and his grandchildren. I greeted it with open arms. Because of his love and the love he showed his family, he has inspired me to consider adoption. I want the same for an adoptive child. I want to love them unconditionally and personally be the dad they don’t currently have. I want to go to their sporting events, take road trips, and do homework with them. I was fortunate to grow up in a family who loved me. We have our little family and give our kids the love and nurture they need. I believe God has led us to this decision, as we have prayed time and time again for His guidance through patience and wisdom.
